Reality Check In A Bag

A friend asked me what I was doing today and told me, "I am packing my hospital bag."  I immediately thought, 'yeah, I should probably get on that'.  Seeing as how Neil could decide to make his appearance at any point.  I might only be 35 weeks, but as sure as I get comfortable with the idea of him coming is 5 weeks, he will decide to debut tonight as soon as my head hits the pillow.  No bueno.  I am ready to meet him, but not tonight.  K? Matt is out of town.  Thanks!

That brings me to my hospital bag.  Nothing brings a dose of reality like having to pack a bag to take to the hospital in case of labor, not imaginary labor, but actual pushing a baby out of your body labor.  Whoa Nelly!  I will spare you all of the not so blog friendly things that have to go into your "reality bag" and share with you what I wish was going into my hospital bag.  In theory ALL of these things would make me feel better during and after delivery.

And those are just to name a few.

This whole experience is really making me examine was is going to happen to my body in the aftermath of having a child.  Again, I will spare you the details because I think typing it out would make me blush.  However, I am a firm believer that if teenagers, male and female, knew all of the gory details about childbirth...they would definitely think twice about playing seven minutes in heaven...if you know what I mean.

So to all of the parents of teenagers out there, Halloween is coming up and kids always like a good horror story, why not really freak them out and tell them about Labor and Delivery!

Consider that my PSA for the week.

If the road to hell is paved with good intentions then my blog must be located next door

Because trust me...I have had all sorts of good intentions and have they got me anywhere?  Absolutely not, unless you consider somewhere to be the recliner in front of the T.V.  It is kind of like when you work all day long to get all of your clothes washed and dried but you don't put any of the away...they just sit there and before to long you realize it is easier to just pull what you need out of the huge pile o' clothes than it is to blog fold them.  Eventually though you have to blog fold them.  Bad analogy?  Okay give me a break, I am a little rusty at this.  Actually, I was gone so long that blogger changed somethings, enough things to freak me out and keep me from blogging, so technically it is bloggers fault.  Email them your complaints.

I want to tell you about all about what has gone on in the last month or so.

For starters, Matt, Duece, and I moved across the country.  Yes, that would be the second time in 6 months.  We made the trek from Sierra Vista, AZ and now call Clarksville, TN "home".  It was a fairly uneventful 1600 mile move that took us four days.  It was interested traveling that far while pregnant, but both dad, baby, and I survived.  It was in no small part thanks to my mom who spent her labor day weekend riding with a whiny pregnant woman eating slim jims.

Did we have a home when we got to TN? Absolutely not...we like to keep things interesting.   It isn't as bad as it sounds though because we found a house in a great neighborhood fairly quickly.  Although after seeing the first 10 or so houses on our list I did cry.  In my defense I didn't think a neighborhood in which all of the following could be seen was an appropriate place for a baby to be raised:
1.  Cars on blocks
2.  Men with no shirts, saggy pants, and tattooed tears on their faces
3.  All of the neighbors being allergic to yardwork
4.  Rabid dogs
Agree or disagree?  I thought you would see it my way.

In addition to moving we had to actually MOVE, which meant boxes, all 500 of them.  Actually it was more like 280 (that is not a lie).  280 boxes do not put themselves away.  Isn't the Army supposed to help you unpack?  Well, funny you should ask.  Yes, they are supposed to help us unpack if we request it, but apparently Diamond (again, I can't make this stuff up) decided that he had other things to be doing other than his job.  So Matt and I had to find a place to put all of the crap that I swear multiplies when you put it in a cardboard box with the same ferocity that gremlins multiply when you get them wet.

We are all officially settled in though.  Just this weekend, a full month after moving in, I made the guest room inhabitable and finished setting up little baby Neil's nursery.

On the pregnancy front there is one big development.  My belly button.  It is loosing it's battle.  The sad thing is that there really isn't anything I can do to help it.  I feel like God did bless me with an extraordinarily deep button, so in the best case scenario it will just be come flush with the rest of my skin and I won't be stuck with an awful outie for a few weeks.  No offense to anyone with an outie, but that just isn't for me.

I will be 35 weeks on Monday which means 5 weeks until my due date.
*Commence Freak Out*
HOLY SHITAKE...I just realized that as I typed it.  If the thought of being a parent in 5 weeks or less doesn't really freak you the freak out, then I don't know what will.  Technically we are ready for him.  And by technically I mean his room is ready, the stroller is put together, the car seat is installed, and we really really want to see and hold him.  But holy hannah...we are gonna have a baby!
*End Freak Out*

See, that happens to me every couple of days.  That may or may not include me crying hysterically to Matt that I have no idea what I am going to do.  If that did hypothetically happen, Matt would do a great job of telling me not to freak out.  I like to think that I am doing the freaking out right now so I can be calm when D-day (delivery day) gets here.

More on our impending parenthood later....

So there you have it folks, the last couple of weeks in a nutshell.  Now I have "work" to do, those cookies aren't going to eat themselves.

Movie Palooza!

This week has been movie palooza for the Langfords!  And Matt, sweet sweet Matt, bless his heart, all were chick flicks.  He really is a good sport when it comes to movies.  I will admit that in the past I am...how shall I say it, a little inept at picking out a movie that deserves a rating over D, but this week I was spot on. 

Bridesmaids and Something Borrowed were both really cute!

Bridesmaids

Can ya dig it?

I can!

I didn't have high expectation, see above about my movie picking abilities.  The funny, fabulous, and sometimes incredibly awkward ladies made me laugh over and over.

Brazilian food anyone?

Seriously, I won't ruin it, but go see it and take your man because he will survive.

And tonight we were invited to go see :

Two things I love:

A movie with Kate Hudson (she can do no wrong)

A movie based on a book

Yes, this was the quintessential chick flick that at times had me rolling my eyes.  It wasn't a tear jerker, but by the end of the movie I was satisfied. I was sad that we had to part with $15 to see it and Matt's eyes and ears did not start to bleed.

I say all around a win!

Some changes are going to be coming to the blog over the next week or so, so keep your eyes peeled!

Walking On...Walking On...Broken Gla-a-a-sss.

I go into my kitchen with good intentions, to clean up.  Never did I think that I was about to have a horrifying experience in which my life flashed before my eyes.  I was simply trying to put away some new glasses that we got from the Battalion Ball on Friday night (blog post about that to come later), and then all of a sudden, glasses, shards of glass, and more glass were falling at my face.  What did I do?  Apparently the shelf wasn't supported adequately to hold the weight of 5 glasses, the shelf tipped and chaos ensued.

I panicked, I didn't have shoes on or pants on (it was still early don't judge), I was frozen.  Trying to move would have been like navigating a sea of broken glass.  I have a couple of small slices on my arms where the shards came at me from the cabinet, I fairly deep cut on my pinkie finger, and a gouge out of my thumb.  There was lots of blood.  That isn't all, I also, in my bare footed attempt to escape the madness that was swimming on my kitchen floor, I stepped on a small microscopic "shard o' death" and it embedded it self in my second toe.  I had to channel Macguyver and with the use of a lighter (for sterilization) and a safety pin (makeshift scalpel) I operated and removed the death shard.  There was more blood.

It was a rough morning.

I couldn't get the entire path of destruction in one photo, but you get the point.

"Shard o' Death"

The Cabinet

Box of Glass that we collected from the floor.

My heart is still racing from the experience.

Why I eat off dirty dishes

I don't REALLY eat off dirty dishes...

Why is it that:

1.  Between my husband and myself we produce more dirty dishes than a large tribe of slobs?  Seriously, I am always doing dishes.  When you run out of clean silverware and there are only 2 of you in the house you have an issue.  

2.  I always seem to forget to start the dryer?  I go back and hour later to rotate the clothes and they are still wet.  

3.  My phone rings as soon as I sit down and get comfortable?  I never have it next to me, it is always in the other room.

4.  My dog manages to always position his squeaky toy in my path, that way when I walk I step on it, causing it to squeak, triggering his need to jump up and play?  He just settled down.  Well played Duece...well played.  

5.  We have so much trash? (same as #1)

6.  I keep the extra toilet paper in the bathroom that we don't use? This is problematic.

7.  My house is so dusty?  Is your house dusty?

8.  I can't make a doctor's appointment more than 21 days out?  Seriously Tricare, I love you, but it should pay to be proactive.  And don't pretend ike you actually even have anything available within that 21 day window...we know you don't.

9. I don't have a single Christmas card worthy picture this year?

10.  My neighbors bought every single Christmas inflatable ever made, including the snow globe (you know the one) and blew them up all at the same time to put on display?  Not necessary. At. All.

What is bothering you today?

Wonny the Wabbit

The other day I was talking to Matt and he said, "You want to hear an ironic story?"  Never the one to turn down a good story, I was eager to hear.  "Well, I have a pet rabbit", he told me.  "A rabbit, really?!  That is funny/ironic", was my reply.  You see people, we have a beagle, and a beagle by nature is a rabbit hunting machines.  Beagle are trained to run rabbits all day long and bring them full circle back to their master for the kill (sad I know).  Don't get these beagles confused with our sweet little slightly overweight beagle who can only be described as a couch potato, the only thing he runs are crumbs.  BAHAHA!  But nonetheless, he is a beagle so it is fairly ironic that half a world away his dad has a pet rabbit.

So more about the rabbit...
This is just a testament to the kind heart that my husband really possesses.  This rabbit hangs out around his office from time to time, laying in the sun, sometimes sprawled out in the shade, all around just a big ball of fur.  Matt described him as "huge".  Now in my mind huge means one thing, I have yet to see a picture to see if he is actually as big as I am picturing him.  But rumor has it, he is as big as our dog, which makes the whole situation even funnier.  The best part is that Matt brings him food.  He hides a way little bunny treats (carrots, lettuce, nuts) and brings them back for the rabbit.  I had only one logical course of again when I found all of this out, to name him.  You can't have a pet and not give it a name.

When it comes to naming things, I have a penchant for naming them by the first letter of what they are (Molly Mazda, Janet Jeep, Wanda Waverunner, you get my drift) so my suggestion went down a list of R's for Rabbit and nothing really fit until I got to Ronny.  Isn't that just the cutest name for a rabbit, Ronny.  I think so, or at least I thought so until Matt took it to the next level...thus our (yes I claim him too) desert pet shall be called Wonny, Wonny the Wabbit!  Perfect!

I am supposed to be getting a picture of Wonny.  Matt promised me that the next time he comes out for carrots and nuts it will be time for him to Vogue for the camera.  Until then, this is kinda what I am picturing...very interesting.