Jeers - Where nothing goes your way

Don't confuse the new bar I am going to open with the classic  iconic bar in Boston known as Cheers.  Cheers is the place that everybody knows your name, friends meet to laugh, and to have a drink. 

Jeers on the other hand is a place WHERE NOTHING GOES YOUR WAY!  Sounds like a great concept huh?  I think so too.  People laugh at my bar too, except they aren't laughing with you...they are laughing AT you.  People have drinks at my bar, except you aren't so much drinking it as you are wearing it, because it WILL  be spilled on you.  And lastly, people at Jeers, don't only know your name, that chant it.  But don't be fooled the chants aren't positive uplifting make you feel like you can do anything chants, they are Jeers (see what I did there).  The  locals will take your name and turn it into something humiliating, i.e. Chelle would become Smelly Chelle or Smelly Chelle Belly.  

Doesn't it sound like a blast?   I am telling you, it is a cash cow waiting to be born.

Earlier this week I was playing golf with my husband and we decided that we would play in the month's end golf scramble.  Yes!  I mean, I would definitely be an asset to the team because I can drive the ball (kinda).  Then I got asked to sub on Friday.  I took the job because I can't just go around turning down jobs can I?  No.  So Matt was disappointed that I couldn't play in the tourney, but found a suitable replacement.  No harm no foul.  We would both be making money.  Me working, and him sinking a putt for the win. Then today the teacher called me and said, "Oh, thanks, but I think I am going to work friday."  No big deal....guess what that means?  Mama gets to play golf.

PYSCH!!!

As I as hanging up the phone with the teacher and walking in the door my husband was making a phone call to another disappointed golfer.  He had to let them down with the sad news that the team had been filled, but that if someone dropped out he would be next in line.  Aww, shucks.  Always behind the bar.  Which if I could go to Jeers would make me feel right at home. I needed a good ol' "Smelly Chelle" right about then.  

I didn't really think that someone would drop out, but they did.  About 30 min later Matt got a phone call..."Sorry dude, but I can't be on the team, replace me..."  I could hear him on the phone from the other side of the room and I was quietly making my argument, ready to plead my case to be let back on the team.  But no.  I have an honest husband who had already committed that spot to another.  Did I mention that this happened at the same time that I became available.  Was I disappointed?  Yes, but I will never complain about having an honestly husband.  Oh well...  I think they (the 4 golfers) have some bad juju to shake going into the shotgun start tomorrow, they have some big shoes to fill without me there.  Come about hole #6 they are going to be wishing they had my advantage on the red tees.

Now in my ultimate disappointment if I could only go to a bar that would mirror my bad fortune tonight.  Just what I need is a drink spilled on my lap.

It didn't end so badly.  I am eating a big bowl of vanilla ice cream WITH chunks of cookie dough and sprinkles.  And that my friends will be the ONLY option for dessert at Jeers.

See ya there!


P.S.
Dear Matt,
I am not mad, not in the least.  I hope you have fun playing tomorrow and win something cool.
Love,
Smelly Chelle Belly